


sweet citrus scented sin

by Yasuo_Karada



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Don't Try This At Home, Fluff and Humor, Frottage, Grapefruit, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, heed these warnings, never trust chris, please, yuuri is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:15:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasuo_Karada/pseuds/Yasuo_Karada
Summary: Yuuri's first mistake was consulting Chris for advice.Yuuri's second mistake was clicking on the link that was sent his way.His third mistake was allowing the‘Well...’to pop into his head, as if that was enough to justify things, and before he knew it he was packing up two grapefruits into the cart, tossing in some oranges and a handful of random other fruit to make it less conspicuous. Viktor didn't even bat an eye at the checkout.





	sweet citrus scented sin

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry this exists. please don't try this at home.

Yuuri's first mistake was consulting Chris for advice.

Life after moving to Russia and living with Viktor was...domestic. Incredible. Perfect.

He would wake up in the morning to Makkachin pawing at his arm, the smell of breakfast cooking fresh and hot from the kitchen, sometimes Viktor singing a show tune or humming along to a past program; their afternoons were spent at the rink or Lilia's ballet studio, working themselves until their feet blistered and their joints ached, followed by a well-deserved lunch at their favorite café; their evenings were always a surprise depending on how much house work there was to catch up on, and on the occasion there was none the pair would stay at home and dine on takeout while curled up on the couch, chatting or laughing along to some game show with wacky pranks. Then, sometimes, at night Yuuri would wander over to Viktor's room, or sometimes Viktor would ask to be invited into the guest room he offered to Yuuri upon moving in, or things would start elsewhere and they would just naturally end up in one place or the other, and they would wind down in each other's arms and sweet kisses before spooning and talking or kissing some more until they fell asleep.

Hands wandered as the moment would allow it, as did lips and teeth and tongues. They rarely went anywhere beyond mutual blowjobs, and the closest thing they came to actual penetration was the handful of times Yuuri would lay on his back, Viktor sliding slick with lube and precum between his thighs, and they would roll together like that in time with heavy breaths. It felt good -- it always felt _so good_ \-- and in the moments they got carried away Viktor would nip at his neck, up his jawline, and whisper in his ear despite the groans, "Do you want it?"

Yuuri couldn't ever bring himself to say he did. So they would get off like that and cuddle in the afterglow. Viktor usually dozed off first while Yuuri pondered. It was _never_ a good idea for Yuuri to ponder.

He felt guilty for keeping that wall between them; they were engaged after all and wasn't that what couples did? And yet, despite his own eagerness, Viktor (God bless this wonderful man) never pushed him outside of his comfort zone and did what he could to please him any other way Yuuri would allow him. He often found himself wondering how he was able to snag the attention of his idol, this perfect lover.

Which wasn't to say that they didn't occasionally vibe so well, of course. Tiffs would tend to break out whenever dishes were left in the sink for too long, or someone forgot to take out the trash, and Yuuri couldn't even count how many times he’d almost broke his neck from tripping over one of Viktor’s ridiculously numerous and unnecessarily flashy pairs of shoes in the doorway. Things very rarely escalated to the point where one person resigned themselves to the couch, but they did happen, and when they did someone would cave and apologize profusely, kickstarting the other to do the same until they were sobbing and bundled together in bed or on the couch, sometimes with a bowl of their shared favorite flavor of ice cream (chocolate brownie, who knew?). On those nights, they would stay up until the sun rose just talking, venting, trying to make the other laugh; the following day would be taken off as personal time to rest, much to Yakov’s annoyance.

...So maybe it wasn't _perfect_. But Yuuri wouldn't give it up for the world.

That guilt, as it was, was what drove him to reach out to the one person who knew Viktor better than he did. Neither Chris nor Viktor were very secretive about their sexualities and, well, Yuuri would be lying if he said that being acquainted with them didn't help him feel more comfortable with his own. He at least had the foresight to wait for a day when he was off and Viktor had practice and would be out of the apartment for a good long while before he pulled out his phone; this was going to be _absolutely humiliating_.

**Chris G.**

11:58

>> _I need advice._

Yuuri had been distracting himself with an hour of channel surfing before landing on some Russian soap opera ( _"It's the most popular one right now, it's so engaging!"_ Viktor praised one time; Yuuri couldn't see it) before his phone chimed with a text alert.

**Chris G.**

13:23

<< _De moi? what ails you so, mon chéri?_

He rolled his eyes. Leave it to Chris to give Viktor's dramatics a run for their money.

His thumb hovered for a minute after typing up a response, and he had to steel his nerves before he finally clenched his jaw and tapped the _Send_ button.

**Chris G.**

13:25

>> _I worry Viktor may not be...satisfied. What can I do to surprise him?_

His response came almost instantaneously.

**Chris G.**

13:25

<< _Hang on, i got just the thing_

Yuuri's second mistake was clicking on the [link](https://youtu.be/tAwhRdDCqG8) that was sent his way.

**Chris G.**

13:32

>> _CHRIS WHAT DID YOU SEND ME?!_

**Chris G.**

13:33

<< _You wanted to surprise him, non?_

His fingers twitched against his phone’s keyboard, debating between _‘This isn’t the kind of surprise I had in mind!’_ and _‘WHY would this be the first thing to go to?!’_ and he even contemplated just sending a bunch of expletives with the kana keyboard on his phone and pray Chris got the hint.

In the end, he didn't even dignify Chris with _any_ response, choosing instead to shut off his phone and take a cold shower in an (ultimately futile) attempt to regain any shred of dignity he may have been fortunate enough to cling to. Alas, some things could not be unseen, and he was stuck with the video playing on loop in the back of his mind well after Viktor greeted him with a cheerful " _Tadaima_ !" some odd hours later and all through dinner right up until they parted for the night. Viktor whined about needing a goodnight kiss or else he won't be able to sleep (he swears!), but Yuuri ignored his protests and simply muttered a rushed _‘goodnight’_ and left a quick peck on his cheek before closing his bedroom door.

It took two days before Yuuri could look Viktor in the eye again and a full week after _that_ for him to forget about the video altogether.

It just so happened, a month down the line, when they were at the market after practice to stock up on groceries that they passed through the produce aisle and it all came rushing right back to him. He froze next to the citrus cart, fingers twitching idly as he tried to tear his eyes away from the fruit. A quick glance around and he saw Viktor about five meters away weighing a bundle of potatoes, a tiny smile on his face.

His third mistake was allowing the ‘ _Well..._ ’ to pop into his head, as if that was enough to justify things, and before he knew it he was packing up two grapefruits into the cart, tossing in some oranges and a handful of random other fruit to make it less conspicuous. Viktor didn't even bat an eye at the checkout.

The walk home from the market, Yuuri was certain, was his own personal circle of Hell.

The next day was an off day for both of them, and between leaving the market and arriving back at their apartment Yuuri had somehow went from being an anxious mess to being somewhat _determined_ to see this through and get it over with. He tried to play it cool when they got home after putting away the groceries and Viktor prepared Makkachin for a walk: leaned against the counter, mug of hot green tea in hand, hair pushed back. _Sexy, Yuuri. Be sexy._

“ _Vit-_ ” His voice cracked; he cleared his throat and tried again. “Vitya?”  
  
“Yes, darling?” he heard Viktor chirp from the couch, followed by a low _‘borf’_ from Makkachin and Viktor softly cooing at him.  
  
“...I...wwwwould like to t-try something. When you get back from walking Makkachin?”  
  
_Nailed it._  
  
Viktor hummed in interest before there came the jingle and faint _click!_ of the leash securing onto their dog’s collar. He stepped into the kitchen with Makkachin trotting alongside him before he leaned against the counter beside Yuuri, wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. “Oh? What kind of ‘something’ are we talking about?”  
  
Yuuri made an exaggerated attempt to avoid eye contact, diverting his gaze up to the ceiling as he idly sipped at his tea (and nearly burned himself in the process, but Viktor didn’t need to know that). “Secret.”  
  
“ _Yuuuuri_ , you’re getting cheeky with me! That’s not fair,” his fiance teased. Yuuri shivered at his fingers lightly brushing up and down the inside of his thigh. “There are no secrets between us, darling.”  
  
“Go walk our dog and you’ll see. Shoo!” Yuuri batted Viktor’s hand away, earning a hearty laugh and light smooch on his cheek before Viktor conceded and led Makkachin towards the front door. He waited first for the front door to close, then for the soft _chnk!_ of the lock before he set down his mug and rummaged through the fridge for--

“I can't believe I'm doing this,” he bit to himself, choosing to ignore the heat radiating from his face as he pulled out the larger of the godforsaken fruit and made to prepare a bowl of warm water. This was for love, damn it!

 

* * *

 

Clothes went flying the instant Viktor walked through the front door, Makkachin barking at the excitement before scuttling off to his bed in the corner once he realized his daddies were ignoring him. Yuuri had only managed to strip himself of his shirt before tearing all of Viktor’s outfit off, shoving him back onto the bed as Viktor chuckled out a soft “wow!” He had worked himself up to get the snowball rolling, made all of the necessary preparations; now all he had to do was keep going.

His left hand slid up Viktor's torso, the pads of his fingertips gently circling Viktor's nipple in time with his tongue on the head of his cock as it brushed past, and Viktor couldn't help but gasp as his pec was squeezed lightly as Yuuri's hand continued upwards. His index finger caressed his spit-slick bottom lip before pressing in, against Viktor's tongue which curled around it as he drew it deeper into his mouth and sucked. He felt the vibrations of his fiancé groaning against his palm, shiver down every last bone down his spine and collect in his groin.

“Hah... _B-Blyad’_ , Yuuri,” he heard Viktor gasp above him, and he dared to glance up just in time to catch Viktor throwing his head back, mouth agape and eyes squeezed shut.

For as long as they've been intimate, he had never seen Sex God Viktor Nikiforov look so _aroused_ . It was-- this was dangerous. If he looked this wrecked just from a blowjob, _God_ what would he look like when he was fucking him, riding him?

Yuuri pulled off of Viktor’s dick with a gasp, inhaling as though his lungs couldn't get enough. _Slow down, Yuuri. You'll get there someday._

Viktor sunk into the mattress as he, too, caught his breath. A low whine rumbled in his throat when Yuuri momentarily left his side to grab the condoms from the nightstand drawer (thank God his fiance had the foresight to get flavored). He shuddered under Yuuri’s hands as he slid it over his cock, a hand blindly flailing to his wrist. “W-We don’t-- ah, don’t have to, Yuuri.”

The gentle caress of his fingers against Yuuri’s skin almost made him want to collapse onto Viktor and hold him and cover him with kisses, leaving the damned citrus forgotten and disposed of before his near-mistake ever came to light. But Yuuri was a man on a mission, and he had already come this far. Might as well see it through.  
  
Yuuri shifted upwards over Viktor’s torso to leave a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I know, Vitya. Thank you.” His kisses trailed down, slowly, to his left cheek. “But I want to please you. Please let me, Vitya, I want you to feel good.”  
  
Viktor nodded shakily and bit his lower lip, arching under Yuuri’s touch as he made his way back down to hang over the edge of the bed, leaving kisses and light nips all along the way. He paid focused attention to the junction between Viktor’s hip and thigh, allowing the distraction while his hands rummaged around for the container he stashed under the bed. Viktor jolted against his chin at the _pop!_ of the lid opening, and Yuuri hushed soothingly against the inside of his thigh.  
  
He grimaced internally at the soft flesh of the grapefruit pressing wet against his fingers, but at the same time it was...actually kind of hot? Knowing where it was going and how it was meant to feel. Is this what _Viktor_ would feel like? Warm and soft and wet?  
  
“You ready for your surprise?” He could practically taste his own impatience. _Calm down, Yuuri._  
  
“ _Da_ , please Yuuri, don’t tease,” Viktor whined, wriggling impatiently on the sheets. “I’ve been ready since you pounced on me, _please_ !”  
  
Yuuri could only chuckle in self-satisfaction; despite how mortified he was initially, seeing Viktor _this_ wanton and needy made all of those reservations just dissolve away. He cooed against Viktor’s knee (“I got you, Vitya,” which only made Viktor keen even louder, higher) before he settled between those strong, milky thighs laying open for him.  
  
“Here we go,” Yuuri whispered, more to himself than to Viktor, before he grabbed the base of Viktor’s dick with one hand and slowly lowered the slice of grapefruit over it. He watched Viktor’s back bow into the most perfect arch, his mouth hanging open in a long, silent gasp.  
  
When it was gripped around where the condom ended, Yuuri swallowed and took one deep breath before his mouth followed suit and--  
  
“Hah!!”  
  
_Oh_ . He was so distracted with the way Viktor’s leg kicked out and twitched he didn’t even register the taste of citrus with latex and artificial flavoring. Just heat -- pulsing, twitching heat.  
  
Christ, that was so _hot_ .  
  
Determination and desire welled up in Yuuri’s gut, and he drew the fruit up with his mouth before back down to try and get Viktor to do it again. The muscles rolled taut just underneath the skin as Viktor’s hips moved with him, thighs twitching and hands scrambling for the sheets, for Yuuri’s hair, for _Viktor’s_ hair, all while Viktor’s whines had broken through the barrier in his throat and echoed against the walls.  
  
When Yuuri went back down again, he couldn’t help but slurp up the juice and spit coating--

_Grapefruit is also a fat burner so you're actually losing weight while sucking his dick._

“Yuuri? What’s…?”

“S-Sorry, sorry!” Yuuri took a few breaths to stifle his laughter, goddamn it why did he think about _that_ ? Before Viktor could recover from the impromptu mood killer, Yuuri went to town on him and forced out a gasp, a moan, pleas of “yes, oh _Blyad’_ , Yuuri!” and “please, don’t stop!” and-- he even squeaked, he didn't even know Viktor made half of these noises.

_What if I…_

He squeezed on the upstroke, tightening closer to the head and letting it loose back down. Once, twice--

“Ah!!”

Warmth burst into Yuuri’s mouth through the latex, throbbing against the flat of his tongue as Viktor shuddered and writhed against his face. A hand held Viktor’s hips down so he wouldn't choke on Viktor’s cock ( _oh_ , he would have to tuck that thought away for later) and he kept Viktor wrapped in the heat of his mouth as he rode out what was probably the fastest and most intense orgasm either of them have had since they started living together.

Eventually, Viktor melted in contentment, and Yuuri pulled off with a low hum of satisfaction. He left one, wet kiss against the head before taking care in removing the grapefruit, then the condom, before discarding them back into the container left on the floor. “Good?”

“Ohh...Oh, Yuuri, _darling_ , please kiss me,” Viktor breathed, chest still heaving as he continued to come down from his high. His hand patted blindly against the sheets as he searched for Yuuri’s, whining in the back of his throat when he couldn’t find him.

Yuuri couldn’t help but giggle, and he reached out to hold Viktor’s hand. He squeezed lightly, thumb running across his knuckles. “Patience, love. Let me get you cleaned up first.”  
  
Viktor squeezed tighter and whined louder, defiant. “Can I at least take this off?”  
  
“A-Ah, not yet!” Yuuri grabbed for Viktor’s wrist just as he raised it to remove the blindfold. His fiance just pouted, then exhaled an annoyed _‘fiiiiine’_ as his head flopped back onto his pillow. “ _Patience_ , Vitya. I’ll be right back.”  
  
With a quick peck against the back of his hand, Yuuri scurried off the bed with the wrapped condom and absolutely-destroyed-grapefruit and to the kitchen to properly dispose of The Evidence. Once he had tossed them into the trash and threw away some leftovers gone bad and random pieces of scrap paper (just in case), he washed his hands of the sticky juice and lube before he made his way back to their bedroom.  
  
Viktor felt Yuuri’s weight as he climbed onto the mattress and his hands reached out to blindly scramble for his lover, holding his arms in a vice grip as he tugged him down and wrapped every limb around him. Yuuri let out a breathy laugh as he was pulled against Viktor’s torso and felt him practically purr with contentment. “Vitya, I still have to wipe you off.”  
  
“Mmm, don’t care.” Viktor squeezed him even tighter. “Missed you.”  
  
At this, Viktor leaned up towards Yuuri, cupping his cheeks as he kissed around his face until he found his lips. Yuuri hummed as he smiled against his fiance’s mouth. Just as he made to cradle Viktor’s face, Viktor pulled away with a scrunched mouth and furrowed brows. A hand came up to pull off the blindfold and he looked at Yuuri with...suspicion?  
  
“...V-Vitya?”  
  
Viktor kissed him again, this time without any affection (though Yuuri couldn’t help but shiver at feeling the tip of his tongue anyway). His lidded glare bore into Yuuri, who had to look away under the pressure of such intense eye-contact. Uh-oh. “What’s this?”

_He knows._

“Uhh…” Yuuri groaned, looking everywhere except at the man in front of him as he tried to think of a way to handle this delicately. “It’s uh...flavoring?”  
  
Viktor’s face didn’t waver. He didn’t buy it. “...And, uh...citrus?”  
  
A lone eyebrow raised. Yuuri swallowed his spit in nerves and felt a sweatdrop slowly trail down his forehead as Viktor quickly swiped his tongue over his bottom lip.

Eventually, Yuuri couldn't stand the look Viktor was giving him anymore, that look that said, ‘I know what you did and you know what you did so you might as well fess up.’

“I-I just wanted to surprise you and I didn’t know what to do because I’ve never done this before and I love you and I wanted topleaseyoubutIwasn’tsureIwasreadyforeverythingsoIasked _Chrisandhesaid_ \--” Viktor cut off Yuuri’s rambling with a press of his index finger to his mouth.

“Breathe, Yuuri,” he spoke softly, his own tone steady. After a few deep breaths, Yuuri felt his heart start to return to a normal pace. “Good, good. Now then, what did Chris suggest you do?”  
  
Yuuri made a low whining noise in the back of his throat. “It’s...hard for me to say. Out loud.”  
  
“Try your best.”  
  
“Nnn...I...it would probably be better if I just showed you.” He reached over to the nightstand for his phone and settled against the pillows and headboard, Viktor pressing up against him as he pulled up his conversation with Chris.  
  
Almost the instant the video was pulled up, he heard Viktor exhale a shaky ‘ _Oh, god damn it, Chris_ ’ beside him. Yuuri looked over at him and-- what the fuck, Viktor was _laughing_ .  
  
“T-Turn it off, Yurahahaha!”  
  
The YouTube app was quickly closed and Yuuri returned his phone to the nightstand, so, _so_ confused. Before he could open his mouth to say or ask, well, _anything_ , Viktor had calmed down enough to coherently say, “I guess I had this coming.”

 _What_ .  
  
Yuuri must have looked perplexed because Viktor went on to explain, “We’ve had this prank war going on since we started competing together. A few years ago I switched out his normal briefs for the ones with the--” He snapped his fingers three times in rapid succession as he muttered lowly to himself in unintelligible Russian. “How do you say ‘ _slon_ ’? With the big ears and long nose? Likes peanuts?”  
  
“...An elephant?”  
  
“Yes!” he chirped. “The briefs where the front looks like an elephant face and you put your-...well, anyway. He didn’t find them until after the competition though, I could hear his boyfriend laughing from down the hall. He’s been trying to get back at me ever since and I’d been too busy for a serious relationship before you so I guess-- ah, Yuuri?”  
  
His fiance was so engrossed in backstory that he didn’t realize Yuuri had curled in on himself, tugging at his hair and sweating profusely; if Viktor didn’t know any better he honestly could’ve worn his pupils became spirals.  
  
Chris had used him to get back at Viktor for a prank.  
  
Wait, no, that wasn’t right. It was merely a suggestion; Yuuri was the one who actually followed _through_ with it, on his own volition. _Uh, Yuuri?_ God, Viktor must’ve thought he was a freak! Who else would **_willingly_ ** give someone else a blow job with a piece of fruit? Him. _That’s_ who. Yuuri Freak-In-The-Bed Katsuki.  
  
"Hello _o_ o?" Viktor cooed, brows furrowing with concern as he waved his hand in front of Yuuri's face. "Y _uuuuuu_ ri?"

Yuuri, blank-faced and pale with his soul leaving his body, simply slid off the edge of the mattress and sunk to the floor like jell-o. Viktor scrambled after him, watching from over the side of the bed as Yuuri slugged around on the floor towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Back to Japan," Yuuri droned, muffled by the carpet. "My life is over. That's it. I can never show my face again."

He heard Viktor whine his name from the bed before there was shuffling and then a warm weight pressing against his back, effectively keeping him in place just a few feet from the door. Fingers ran through his hair as soft terms of endearment (he could make out _'lyuby' moya'_ , _'solynshko'_ , and _'dorogoy'_ ) vibrated against his skin. The gentle _jingle-jingle_ of Makkachin's collar chimed nearer as he bounded into the room. He sniffed his daddies' hair (Yuuri vaguely noted how cold his wet dog nose was on the back of his ear) before he plopped himself onto Viktor's back and dragged a low _'oomf'_ from both of them.

If he weren't wallowing in his own self-pity and shame, he would've thought this was absolutely hilarious: an impromptu (and literal) dog-pile in the middle of their bedroom, Viktor completely naked, Yuuri not-quite-as-naked, and Makkachin totally oblivious to their previous shenanigans. Their dog's tail _thwump_ ’d against the backs of their legs and he exhaled before he decided he wasn’t comfortable anymore and proceeded to squirm and lick at Viktor’s neck to get his attention.

“Ah! _Makkachin_ !” Viktor squealed, rolling off his fiance as he writhed at the sensation of sticky, wet dog tongue and nose. Yuuri, despite all of the activity, remained firmly planted face-down into the floor; he had resigned to his fate and at this point was just waiting for the carpet to swallow him up.  
  
Makkachin barked excitedly and continued to lick his daddy’s face even when he was pushed away. Yuuri felt Viktor roll off of him to the side and lead Makkachin out of the room before the door was shut. A hand nudged him once or twice, and before he knew it he was being lifted up from the floor and tucked into bed.  
  
“Yuuuuuriiiii,” Viktor whined as he curled around him, giving him the biggest puppy-eyes and pout he could muster. Yuuri just continued to stare off into The Void. “ _Zvezda_ , please talk to me. You know I would never judge you, right?”  
  
When he didn’t receive a response or any sign of acknowledgement, Viktor sighed pitifully and tucked his head into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, nuzzling against his chin and softly cooing his name. “It means so much that you’re willing to try new things just to please me. Even if they are,” he thought about this word carefully, “unconventional. Just knowing you want me and want me to feel good is enough.”  
  
A hand slowly, lightly brushed up his back before resting on the back of his head. Viktor couldn’t help but smile. “If it helps any, I’ve done more than my fair share of unconventional things for the sake of surprise and intimacy.”  
  
Yuuri’s chest rumbled as he huffed. “...I don’t doubt that for an instant.”  
  
“So there, see?” Viktor grinned. “It’s not the end of the world. I love you regardless of the things you want to try.”  
  
“I know.” Yuuri shifted so he could lean down and peck the whirl of Viktor’s hair. “I appreciate you being here, Vitya. Next time, I’ll...talk about it with you before I make a total ass out of myself.”  
  
Viktor smirked against Yuuri’s skin. “Or you could not listen to Chris’ advice ever again.”  
  
“That, too.”

* * *

  
_“Why, Viktor! It’s been so long, to what do I owe the pleasure?”_  
  
“Hey, Chris.” Viktor angled his head to keep the phone placed securely between his jaw and shoulder as he turned the cart down another aisle. Yuuri had gone on ahead to look at the bargains and Viktor took this opportunity to chew Chris out in private. “No reason in particular, was just checking in.”  
  
He heard Chris hum skeptically through the grainy audio. _“Viktor, we’ve known each other for quite some time. I of all people know you don’t call to ‘just check in’.”_ He wouldn’t even be surprised if Chris made little quotation marks with his index and middle fingers at that last remark. _“Am I in trouble, mon chéri?”_  
  
“Haha, not necessarily.” Viktor held the phone up to his ear with one hand once the cart was straightened out. “Actually, I was wondering if we might be able to call a truce.”  
  
_“A truce, hm?”_  
  
“Yup.” _Oh, here are those chips Yuuri likes._ He tossed them into the cart. “At least when it comes to our intimate lives.”  
  
_“While I’m always happy to hear you admit defeat, I’m afraid I have no idea what you are talking about, chéri.”_  
  
Viktor chuckled. “Fine, then. How about, next time Yuuri asks for advice, try not to mess with me through him. Poor thing was traumatized at that video you sent.”  
  
_“Honestly, you don’t give me enough credit, Viktor. I haven’t spoken to Yuuri since--”_ A gentle gasp. _“Wait, he didn’t actually go through with it, did he?”_  
  
Viktor stopped abruptly, right there in the middle of the aisle. “W-...Was he not supposed to?”  
  
_“Goodness_ no _, Viktor!”_ He had to pull the phone away from his ear, Chris was cackling so loud into it. “Oh! Oh mon dieu, it hurts!”

Viktor just pouted and rolled his eyes, letting Chris have a moment or two to calm down while he moved on to the next aisle: pasta and sauces. “You good?”  
  
_“Quite.”_ Chris sniffled once before clearing his throat. _“Now then, seeing as how it was my teasing that flustered our adorable little katsudon--”_  
  
“ _My_ adorable little katsudon.”  
  
_“--Naturally, Viktor, I jest. But yes, I will agree to your proposed truce. No more innocents getting caught in our line of fire.”_  
  
“Good.” _Would Yuuri like this sauce? It has mushrooms in it, does Yuuri even like mushrooms?_ “And it may be best not to bring this up ever again. My own fiance wouldn’t even look at me for three days afterwards, I can only imagine how it’d be if he knew he wasn’t seriously supposed to.”  
  
Another turn and he found himself walking along the produce aisle towards a familiar bundle of scarves and coats turning around the opposite corner. As soon as their eyes met, Viktor broke out into his heart-shaped grin, only for it to fall flat when Yuuri happened to glance over at the variety of carts filled with fruit, turned bright red as soon as it registered where he was, then spun on his heel and went back the way he came with a soft whine.  
  
_“My lips are sealed.”_

**Author's Note:**

> i was paid to write this filth. follow me on twitter @yasuo_karada


End file.
